Is My Child Just Shy, or Something More?

A parent's checklist to help you understand the difference between typical shyness and selective mutism or speaking anxiety.

This is a quick reflection tool, not a diagnosis. Only a qualified professional can diagnose selective mutism or an anxiety disorder.
1. Does your child talk normally at home, but go completely silent in at least one specific place (school, a relative's house, a store)?
2. When your child is quiet in that setting, is it total silence, or do they still whisper, gesture, or talk to one trusted friend?
3. Has this pattern lasted more than a month, or is it new (like the first weeks of a new school year)?
4. Does your child warm up and start talking normally after some time in a new place, or does the silence persist no matter how long they've been there?
5. Does the silence seem to hold your child back, like avoiding raising a hand, not asking to use the bathroom, not answering a teacher directly?
6. Outside of talking, does your child seem to want to connect (smiling, playing, joining games), just not verbally?
7. Does your child show physical anxiety signs around the quiet setting, like stomachaches before school, clinginess, meltdowns after pickup?
8. Has a teacher or another adult independently mentioned your child's quietness to you, unprompted?
Remember: This is a reflection tool, not a diagnosis. Only a qualified professional can diagnose selective mutism or an anxiety disorder.

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